MUMMY, MUMMY ... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!

I have always wanted to be a Mummy, since I got married ... so many years ago. In 2007, I was blessed by God, with a little bundle of joy & we named him Ryan. I can admit, more that 2 years on that mothering is DAMN HARD work. I always knew being a mum wasn't a walk in the park but I have to admit ... it did catch me off guard! I never expected nor knew that mothering came with endless sleepless nights, lots of panda eyes, lots of hollering, lots of patience & sheer exhaustion ... haha! (Was it just me or do all mothers go through these trying times?)
Sometimes, I feel like a zombie ... just walking around, doing the "pre-requisite" daily chores thats mundane, yet a real necessity. As I would say to Hubby, I can't really remember the first 6 months of my son's life ... oh no! ... I sound like a horrible mother! Thats because with the endless night feeds & diaper changes, terrible daily colic, medical scares, trips to A & E, doctors appointments, long hospital stays & surgery, etc. I was really having a hard time. As baby was born via emergency C-section, it took me longer to heal - physically, mentally & emotionally. All I can say is that being a Mummy .... its the hardest job in the world!

But almost 28 months down the road, as I am "celebrating" my 2nd Mother's day, I can say that I have survived! I feel so much joy & love when I look at Ryan. I am filled with pride today as I was, the day he was born. Even the littlest thing he does makes me proud, saying Tigger, cake & cold today; when he told me "no pat pat" tonight before he dozed into slumber land. My little munchkin brightens my day ... when I am down (haha ... though he can be the cause of Mummy's wrath most times). His smile melts my heart & the fact that he runs, dashes to the door each time he hears the keys turn at the door, just to greet his Papa ... I know that he loves us ... but I think we love him more (haha).

I am more confident now, when I wasn't then. I am more assured of the decisions I make for the good of my son's welfare. I know what I have to do for my son's sake. I think I have become stronger & more "soft" at the same time. I am strict & stern when I have to & I "melt" & give in to Ryan, when he gives me those googly eyes. Aah! At last, I have learnt to be ... a Mother.

What does Mother's Day mean to me? It means that I when I die, I know that I will leave a piece of me behind, in the shape of my only son. My own flesh & blood, someone that I love unconditionally & loves me unconditionally back (I hope!). Someone who looks like me (ok ok, he looks more like his Daddy but who's complaining), has inherited my eccentricities (making sure his toy buses are in straight lines), someone who shares my "talkative" nature & "adventure" for food, someone I will readily give up my life for ...

To all the GREAT Mummies I know ... My own Mum, my Sis, Rina, my Sis-in-law, Kak Idah, my two buds, Lisa & Jessie ... I salute you ladies. You were Mummies before me but I never knew how "hard" & tough being a Mummy was, until I became one. I am humbled & awed. Kudos & warmest hugs from this Mummy to you. Its tough being a Mummy ... but at the end of the day, its all worth it

Last but not least, "A Happy Mother's Day" to my beloved Mum! Eventhough she doesn't "do" the internet, I just wanted to show my love for her. She has been there for me since the day I was born, so many years ago. And she's still here with me, as I soldier on my new journey as a Mother. I never "knew" nor appreciated the sacrifices, the tears, the heartache, the worries ... she had to go through raising me as a child. She accepted me as I am, with all my stubbornness & chided me when I needed it. She supported me through the years & gave me invaluable advise on raising her last & youngest grandson. She has held my hand & guided me when I was just clueless. She has truly been a pillar of strength in our family. I sometimes jokingly call her our "CMPB" (Central Man Power Base - a Military centre) because if you wanted to know whats the latest happenings amongst the siblings, in-laws, nephews, niece, etc ... Mum is the first person to know & help, if its needed.

She readily busies herself with the family affairs, showing that she cares & wants everyone to be well & happy. She calls us everyday (sometimes up to 5 times a day when Ryan was a newborn .. hehe!) not because she wants to know everything ... she calls because she cares & loves us. I never knew my Mum's perspective of self-sacrificing & endless unconditional love until I had Ryan. When you "carried" your baby in your tummy for 9 months ... the love you have for that child is indescribable ... only a Mother can understand!

If my love for my son is any indication of the love my Mum has for me (& my siblings), I know that I am loved, cherished & adored, & for that I am truly blessed ... I thank God!

I love you Mum! Happy Mother's Day to all the hardworking & beautiful mummies !!!

P.S : All Mummies are beautiful because they deserve to be ... after ALL the tears & sacrifices ...