Got lots of new pics n vids 2 post, just gotta find the time 2 do it. I realise that I've been rather diligent in taking photographs n videos of my family these days. I guess having a blog "inspired" me 2 record my family life 4 all 2 ponder.
Sometimes its just in the little things that we do - like bringing Ryan 2 enjoy water fountains (or any water feature for that matter). Haha! I guess I just wanted 2 record our simple lives for I know it will pass by soon enough. I just wished I had started sooner 4 it would have been a worthwhile adventure. I know one day when I look back, my son will be a grown young man ready 2 tackle the world n I would be glad that I took up blogging 2 record my son's n my family's journey into the future (or is that the past?).
When Ryan's all grown up n sees this blog, he will be equally embarrassed wif half the things he did as a child but I hope he will be equally touched that Mummy has tracked all his little smiles n it was all part of HIS-story. I love you Ryan! Mummy doesn't say it enough but I do. I love you too Daddy (my hubby Steven). He's been my pillar of strength all these years.
I know I have been blessed by God, wif a wonderful husband. Though we have our ups n downs sometimes, he's been there 4 me when I most needed him. He's been ultra patient when I'm being stubborn, he's been forgiving when I wasn't being Ms-Nice, he's been firm when I was being indecisive, .. he's been my guiding light when life has been so dark n miserable. He's was there 4 me when we lost our baby - through my darkest, depressed days when I couldn't n wouldn't accept the reality that I will never get 2 hold Megan in my arms ever, he let me cry buckets n held my hands ... telling me that everything will be alright. He's been my ardent supporter n listener. He's been my loyal companion n faithful critic (when I needed 2 be chastised). He's been my best friend, all these years.
Its in the little things that he does 4 me n Ryan. Like bathing Ryan when I have stuff 2 do, amusing his son when I try 2 blog online, changing his diapers when its needed, being the clown just 2 put a smile on Ryan's face or even buying a card 4 me 2 say thank you 4 taking care of him n his son. Am I a lucky gal or what!
Steven does almost anything without question n when he sees something that needs work or attention he does it automatically, then tells me bout it. I guess that's the mark of a good man huh. My hubby does things in his own quiet way n doesn't need fanfare nor acknowledgement but he definitely deserves them. He buys my favourite snacks 2 surprise me (especially when I was expecting Ryan), he cleaned our home from top 2 bottom when I came back from hospital from asthma, he writes me cards 2 cheer me up (or 2 tell me he loves me), he holds my hands eventhough we've been together 4 more than 15 years. He's the sweetest most considerate man I know n I thank my lucky stars I met him that fateful day. Now that we have a son, I know how I want my son 2 grow up into.
Everyday I see more n more of him in Ryan n I know no matter what I do, Ryan will turn out 2 be a good man. Maybe its presumtious of me 2 say dis at this time when Ryan is just a toddler but I can see Steven in him. His mannerism, his hyperness, his fingers n toes, his teeth, his eating habits ... but most of all I can see his love 4 me in our son's eyes. If Ryan becomes the man that his father is ... then I know that I did a good job in raising him - a man that loves his wife n family, a man that respects women, a man that sees no shame in saying "i love yous" in cute cards, a man that is loyal, faithful n devoted 2 his family. Like his father, I hope Ryan will be a honest n hardworking man who's not too workaholic (like his dad) n I hope he gets Steven's sense of direction n deft hands in doing stuff. I hope he gets his daddy's "quick-2-pick-up-things" n I hope he'll treat his future wife wif love n respect (just like his father).
Why am I writing all dis down? Because I want 2 remind myself how lucky n blessed I am. I have been rather tough on him lately - snapping n bitching around. We've been having a rough patch 4 the longest time n I haven't been a very nice person 2 be around. I am tough on him n even tougher on myself. I know I need 2 pitch in more n be more patient n more gracious. I know I need 2 bite my tongue when its called for n I know I need 2 be a better wife n mum.
I am eternally grateful 4 his love, care n devotion 2 me and now, 2 our son. Though I don't announce 2 the world, I know I drew a wild card when I married this man. Though I have neither beauty nor riches, I have been blessed wif a beautiful family n a life rich in love ... n for that I will be eternally grateful 2 God ... for giving me a chance 2 love these 2 wonderful men in my life, who love me for all my imperfectness, my ugliness n obsessive-eccentricities.
I love you darling!!!
(OK OK enough mush 4 now.)
