Well, its the last day of 2008, New Year's eve ... hhmmm .... what will everyone be doing 2nite.

For the 3 of us, we don't know yet, we're just going with the flow. We brought Ryan's PJ's n extra stuff just incase we end up somewhere or we might just come home early n sleep off the New Year. We'll see what happens later.

Well, here's wishing everyone a very Happy New Year! May 2009 bring you all more sweet family moments, great blessings, health & lots of luck! Take care n see u all soon !!!

These are another of Ryan's fav. Its organic cheddar bunnies. Its expensive for a box but very tasty. If the duckies are out of stock (which is often), we buy these instead. Both are equally delicious n cost about the same.

BIG BABY EYES

Just wanted 2 post a random pic of my kid. His eyes look so big in this one. Many have commented that he's got big beautiful eyes, long eyelashes ... in other words his eyes look nothing like mine, especially not his daddy's. I guess he was just blessed by God to have those adorable eyes. I am not one 2 boast nor trumpet but I tend 2 agree with those comments on this one. In fact ... I wish I had his eyes n lashes.

A Day Out With Ryan!

Guess where we went 2day? Steven has been outfield since Wednesday n feeling bored n suffering cabin fever (stuck at home 4 the whole week), I decided 2 venture out on my own, wif my son of course. Since he's been obsessed by buses lately, I decided 2 bring him for a bus ride to Causeway Point. We had a nice afternoon doing nothing in particular. We had lunch at KFC (Ryan's fav) n went 2 Kiddy Palace 2 purchase 2 Tomica (a Japanese brand) die-cast model buses. He loved them n wouldn't let go.

All in all I am quite surprised that Ryan was very well behaved (by his standards) 2day. Mostly he listened 2 me n did not demand 2 be carried all the time, unlike when both me n Steven are around. Hmmm ... I wonder why. The other time when his daddy took him for a corporate lunch he was also displaying his "good-boy" syndrome. I wish he could be like that all the time but I know its wishful thinking. Then again, I'll take whatever good times God throws at me. I'm glad I took Ryan out 2day as its proves 2 me that its not that "hard" 2 bring him out for an outing n by public transport at then. I'm glad I took the chance. I was afraid he was gonna give me a hard time - whinning, crying, demanding 2 be carried all the way, etc. but Ryan has proven 2 me that he CAN be a cute, adorable little boy ... when he wants to. I just need those magic keys 2 lock the door that keeps that lil' monster in. I know ... I know, there's no such thing as magic keys. A mummy can wish, can't she?

I'm trying 2 find the time 2 update more ongoings very soon. I'm also thinking of putting up the vast words that Ryan has "mastered" until now, sort of a list, more for myself than for anyone else. I guess its just a small reminder that my lil boy is growing up ... n as his "vocabulary" expands, I wonder what his new word will be. His latest 2 words are - Tatok (a variation of Atok), a term he calls his maternal grandpa. The other word was - Cut : To cut the velcro-ed plastic bread that came with a plastic knife n Mickey Mouse toaster (courtesy of Auntie Lisa - thanks 4 the toy).

Ok gotta go. Ryan is slowly getting on my n-e-r-v-e-s ..... as he keeps running his toy car on the keyboard, banging on the monitor n fingering the mouse. OK, ok ... I know its time 2 go.

Here's a picture of my son, Ryan ... to cheer myself up. Cute huh? Don't u just want 2 pinch those cheeks?

IN LOVING MEMORY OF BABY

(1 April 1990 - 11 December 2008)

At about 4pm today, my beloved cat, Baby passed away. We have been expecting him not to make it through the couple of days because he was really really sick. As he refuses any food or water, deep down I knew he wouldn't last long. But the fighter that he was, he survived for nearly 7 days but it wasn't an easy time. I wondered why he held on for so long. Maybe its his survival instincts ... maybe he just wasn't ready to go.

I prayed to God ... to take him coz I don't want him to suffer any more. I told Baby that if he had to go ... go in peace. I wished I could have made his last days more comfortable and pleasant but I couldn't. Death is a terrible thing but there's no esaping it. I know that I shouldn't be sad that he's gone ... at least he's no longer suffering. I know he's in a better place n God will take care of him, now that my job is done. Though he's been wif us for more than 18 years it feels just like yesterday that my sis picked him up under our old block of flats because she pitied that tiny little kitten that she saw. How funny that she took him in, named him Baby and I ended taking care of him till his end of days.

Baby moved house when we got married n moved again wif us 2 our second home. He gave us much joy n companionship when I was lonely, memories that will never be replicated. As I recently found out through medical tests that I'm allergic 2 cats, I will longer adopt any cat nor any pet for that matter. I may love animals but my allergies n asthma makes it hard for me 2 care for them in the long term. Having a child also divides my time even further so all that is left of my late pets are beautiful memories that will remain wif me always.

Everytime my pet dies ... I feel heartbroken n sorrow. But as the last of my pet n the longest lasting one passed away, I resolve that it is time for me 2 stop being a pet owner. I don't think I can take the hearache anymore. As life itself is pretty tough going for me right now, I think I had enough of heartache 2 last me a lifetime.

Baby,

Now that you're gone ...
Rest in peace my beloved cat
Pain no longer hurts you
Agony no longer haunts you

Know that I will miss you so dearly
Know that I love you so clearly
Know that one day, we will meet again

Meanwhile ...

I will live my life as best I can
Trying to hold on with all strength n might
Keeping up the faith, though its slight
Though its hard knowing that you are gone
I will remember you in fondness
The joy that you gave me all those years

The tears that I shed are not in sadness
They are a testament that you are loved
Though I will miss your presence
Know that in your life ...
You have given me much more than you have
Because you lived, I have gained

Goodnight my Baby ... please give Megan, Bubbles, Buffy, Bonnie n Bulat a hug for me. I miss you guys so so much. I will see you all again some day. Please take care of each other because I can't be there to take care of you guys. I love you all so very much.

Mummy will see you ... very soon.

So many things r happening in my life but I just don't have the time 2 update my blog. Even when I have some free time on my hands, its used 4 house cleaning n clearing, weekend jaunts, visiting my parents, etc. Had my hands full ... even as I type this using 1 finger no less, my other hand is cradling my poor boy as he just woke up from his afternoon nap n proceeded 2 sleep on my lap. Well thats my life ...

Right now, things aren't going well. House is not selling, had arguement wif a good friend, so many bills 2 pay, my cat is extremely sick .... whats NOT going wrong! At least we have our health (n sanity!) n each other. I know I have 2 stay strong n not waver coz life has thrown me so many curveballs lately. Just trying 2 hang on as best I can but sometimes its so hard that I wonder if I can make it.

I'm very sad that my cat is unwell but I don't know what 2 do. He's so sick that he refuses 2 eat or drink n he's just starving himself to death. I know he's old n has lead an extremely fulfilling life with us for the past 18 years but seeing him like that just breaks my heart. Hubby teased me that I would probably write a poem when Baby (that's my cat's name) dies n I told him I wouldn't. Not because I didn't want 2 but because I just didn't have the time. He teased me coz when my first guinea pig died years ago, I wrote several poems - 2 ease the pain. I dun know, maybe I'm soft by nature, emotional 2 the core n I cry when I lose someone ... even if its just a pet.

I wish that I wouldn't cry n move on easily like most people but alas thats just who I am - a softie! Part of me wants 2 ease his pain n suffering coz I know he's not gonna make it but I dun think that I can put him down either. Having 2 cremate him is another issue that haunts me as we dun believe in cremation. Alas finding a place 2 bury him in concrete Singapore is virtually impossible as even people have limited place not 2 mention pets. As Baby lays in a corner, I slowly see life seep out of him ... yet there is nothing I can do 2 help him.