FEELING SAD ...

There are times in your life that you have to forgive & forget. There are times in your life, you just need to overlook stuff, & life has to be like normal again. I am at that stage in my life right now ... I have some knowledge that someone very dear to me have been doing some rather hurtful things behind my back ... & I can't seem to over-look it .... I can't pretend that everything's peachy. I am not that kind of person ... who is good at pretending, "acting" ... when I am feeling sad I dun hide it, when I am upset I dun hide it, when I'm hurt I dun hide it.

I don't pretend to be perfect because I am not. I am full of imperfections & I have a lot of faults. I am no beauty nor do I bother to be vain, as its not the top of my priority. All that matters to me in life ... is my family. Is is so simplistic of me? To just want a happy family life? Is it too much to ask?

What should I do? What is it that I need to do ... in order for me to get pass this? Is it even worth it??? Why should I torture myself so much ... when its others who hurt me? Am I so unlovable that the people I love ... constantly hurt me? Why am I so useless? What is it about me that gives people the right to bully & hurt me? WHAT ??? Please tell me ... coz I am sick & tired of being hurt by people, who say they care, they love, they treasure me ... but do so many things to break my heart.

People judge me & say that I'm rigid ... but is it wrong to ask for some respect?

Is is so much to ask for some self-respect?

Is it so much to ask form the people you love & care about ... not to hurt your feelings?

Is is so much to expect the ones you love ... not to break your heart?

Is it so much to expect people not to betray your trust?

Maybe I am asking for too much!

Who am I ... to ask to be loved, cared, treasured, respected .... I'm just a nobody.

Maybe that's why I don't deserve anything ... not even some miserable happiness!