HERE WE GO AGAIN ...

Dear loved ones,

It's a public holiday today (we get to drive) but we were at home the entire day, rotting away (we usually don't). Ermm .... what was wrong?? Well, my poor baby, Ryan is down with high fever (once again!) since Wednesday & hasn't recovered yet. He's (so) frequently falling sick these days ... that my heart skips-many-a-beat (not in the good-excited way, ok!) whenever he has a slight temperature!

Dear God, please make my baby better ... he's had a tough couple of months recently & just when he's over the bend ... he falls sick again. Poor thing! I'm sometimes so tired & drained but I am very relieved that Hubby is around to help me these couple of months. As much as I grumble (& nag), I'm very glad & extremely grateful to have his love, support & helping hands, during these tough times.

Why you might wonder am I on the blog yakking away, all of a sudden? Errm ... Hubby finally starts on his 2nd job today. Whilst his 1st job is more on an adhoc basis & doesn't bring money in all the time, Hubby had to take on a 2nd job that feeds the family, regularly. Unfortunately, the 2nd job entails long hours & regular night shifts. There are times that I wonder ... whether we did the right thing? .... Hubby left his old job for so many reasons. Our current situation might never make us millionaires, heck it might not even make his old pay but all I can say is that - there's no turning back now!

Whatever may come,
Whatever will be ...
We will face it together, as a family.

We will stay strong,
We will be resilient,
We will stand united,
We will defy the naysayers,
We will make it ... no matter what!
Heck! There's no other damn way ....!

Its sometimes hard to stay positive. Its sometimes hard to be super-duper optimistic ... but we have to try the best that we can. We have chosen this path for our family & we will be moving forward, not backwards, damn it! Deep in my heart, I really do believe that we made the right decision ... but there are times, when even the strongest supporter (muah!) has lingering-doubts of her own.

I may not know a lot of things ... but the one thing that I am sure of is this - Ryan just loves having his Daddy around the home, all day long! During the pass six months or so, these 2 guys have built a bond so strong that recently Ryan sprouted this priceless gem :

Ryan : Daddy, go where?

Me : Daddy, go work, darling.

(I sometimes tell Ryan that his Daddy is working, when he's out of the home like attending courses or running some errands for the day. I know its 'cruel' but its just easier that way. When his Daddy's home, he will ... never fail, to ask again).

Ryan : Daddy, go where?

Hubby : Daddy, go work.

Ryan : No! Daddy dun go work, (sometimes he will also say : Mummy, dun go work, too ... haha!)

Hubby : Daddy, have to go to work darling.

Ryan : Daddy, dun go work. Daddy, stay at home. I go work!

(Oh! how I wish that was true! Especially ... when you are much older & get to read this blog entry, I will hold you to your word, my little angel)!

If you ask Hubby whether leaving his job was worth it, just to hear those precious words from his only son, he'll probably give you a resounding Y-E-S! The 2 boys have forged a relationship so strong that its so endearing & heartfelt, its such a fulfillment that brings so much joy, in Hubby's eyes. That alone ... makes everything worth it!

Your kid is only 3 (years old) once, for when that (certain) age passed ... you will never, ever get it back! Spending precious time with his son, has made it all worthwhile. We may never have riches, we may never be rich, heck ... we may never have a lot of money ... but the one thing that we have is a close-knitted family that is full of love & devotion. Nothing can buy that!

If it means that we have to eat home-cooked meals everyday, shop less, buy less, own less ... then so be it! At least, we have each other. Coz if we were to die tomorrow, we will have died with less regrets, coz we spent those precious & priceless moments with our son. He will always know that we love him so much & everything that we do is for him, alone. He will never have to question our love for him, he will always know that we will do everything within our power to give him a wonderful, stable & loving environment. He will always be loved & he will always know that we love him. That will never ever change!

I will try to blog more frequently & upload some photos real soon, to get everyone up to speed ... on all the on-goings these pass couple of months. Till then .... stay strong everyone!

Always, Lynn.