My Two Special Boys!

Here are some pics of my two special boys, doing what they do best ... brightening up my life! I enjoy taking pictures of them & I enjoy looking at them even more. I hope to capture more random moments, like sitting around doing nothing coz in life not everyday is a "party" or an exciting event. Its the everyday & the little things that matter more in life. Its in those mundane & simple moments do you get to taste the real meaning of family ... love & devotion.

I just wanna say ... without Ryan & Steven, my life would be meaningless ... but with them, I have reason to ...

Mummy, come & catch me!

While I perch awhile, Mummy takes my photo.

Cheese, Mummy!

Hubby showing off his long legs!

Ryan gives his best mermaid impersonation.

Hubby hanging on to his wriggly lil' boy!

Ryan giving me his "weird" pose.

Lately Ryan is giving me "weird" poses when he says his "cheese". He contorts his body & gives many odd poses. I can't fanthom where he picked it up but I'm seeing it as a "phase" ... its cute but sometimes it "spoils" the pictures. Oh well! as long as he is willing to pose, I can't complain much. At least he's being creative & different, & showing a bit of his unique personality ... so I guess I should encourage him in any way & not be a "wet blanket".

Ryan : I hold on to this, just in case it falls ...

While Daddy smiles, Ryan poses like a mermaid ... again! (How loving!)

Smile? OK, if you say so ...

OK ... I'll give you another smile!

The Contort Pose 1 - Reaching out!

The Contort Pose 2 - Arms arched back!

I'm hanging on Mummy ... hurry up, take the photo!

The Contort Pose 3 - Arch the shoulder back!

Notice Ryan is holding on to his beloved "bus" in most of the pics taken. The "bus" is infact a metal die-cast of an ambulance. As that is a mouthful for him, he calls most vehicles - bus. Lately he has picked up new words for other modes of transportation like - train & van. He spoke "car" much earlier so he does label other cars, like cabs & such, cars too. Well at least he tries ... & shows a great interest in them. Infact, he's literally obsessed with buses & trains. I'm glad though ... its a healthy "obsession" for little boys, though sometimes when we are in the toy section we have to be extra careful, just in case he wants to buy more of them. We do occasionally indulge him & buy them but I don't want to make it a habit nor do I want to spoil him. Well, I try .... I really do.

Another week ...

Well, as the title goes another week has passed. It has been a rather uneventful week. This weekend will be a packed one, as I have to finish up my share of the food stuff I will be making for my niece's birthday party on Sunday. I am making cheese popiah & cheng teng. As I am not much of a cook, my mum decided it would be best if I can contribute my "best" recipies of finger food & desert instead. So this Saturday, will see me finishing up my stuff so that it'll all be ready come Sunday morning.

Next week hubby will be back at work after a long break, whilst he finished his course. I am sad that he will be back to his long hours at work, with never ending duties & such. It pains me to see him having to work so hard but I know that he does what he does because he loves us & wants the best for us. For sure his son will miss him dearly ... so will his wife, coz when Daddy works long hours, so does Mummy ... haha!

So I wanted to take more pics of father & son coz I know Ryan will miss his Papa dearly next week when he goes back to the old routine. It breaks my heart sometimes to see him calling for his Daddy ... all I can tell Ryan is that "Daddy is working" ... & Mummy wishes he's home with us too. I look forward to the day when hubby can be home more often. Hopefully, everything will work out & it will become a reality very soon. Meanwhile, I just have to console my son more & let the 2 men spend more time with each other. The bond these two have is uncommon & unique ... I am glad Ryan adores his Daddy & I hope their bond strengthens with time.

I am glad Ryan has his special relationship with his Daddy ... the kind that is precious & priceless. Sometimes I just gaze at those two (with a smile n my face) ... doing their silly dance, playing "catching" with each other or just posing for the endless pics that I take. I know that their bond is so very special ... even Mummy can't replace that (not that I want to). Infact, I am keen to encourage them to foster an even stronger bond ... as I see Ryan growing up, I want him to emulate his Daddy ... for Steven is a wonderful hubby & an even fantastic & loving father. I can only hope ...

Say Cheese !

Here are some random pics of Ryan & hubby. Ryan was busy posing & saying "cheese" for these photos.

Ermm ... Mummy, are you taking my photo?

So ... are you???

Ryan : I'm so bored! Daddy : Hey ... dun be rude, ok!

OK, Mummy ... I'll say cheese for you.

Another cheese?

Higher ... you say?

OK ... I'll give you another cheese, if you insist!

Are they saying cheese ... or giving you the wave? (Notice the father-son similarity)

OK, I'm done now Mummy. No more cheese!

And so the cheese saga continues .... till next time, we meet again, Mr Cheese!!!

A RIDE WITH DADDY!

The pics were taken in Marina Square. Ryan loves all kinds of rides & this is no different. Of course Daddy had to ride with him coz if Mummy had to she'll probably "break" the poor ride. I think the ride costs $2 (how long? dunno).

OK, we go this way Daddy!

Let's pose for Mummy!

Well we can't forget Barney, can we?

These days we can't pass a McDonald's cafe without having to buy a chocolate milkshake. Ryan's obsessed with the drink. I only have myself to blame (duh!). Though a milkshake is full of calcium (coz its made of milk), its also full of sugar (double duh!) . I'm also sure milk & sugar aren't its only ingredients.

For now ... we try to live with our mistake & try not to pass outside a Mc's too often. If we can't escape & have to buy one for Ryan, we buy just one drink & quickly drink as much of the milkshake as we can. We used to be able to "steal" more than half the cup from him but lately he has insisted on holding the cup himself & will only allow "seconds-long" sips for his Mummy & Daddy. And so the struggle continues ... we try but its a struggle. Meanwhile ... enjoy the pics of my little munchkin enjoying his milkshake.

One more milkshake for me ... muah ha ha!

Its yummy Mummy!

OK ... OK, I'll give you some in a while.

Ermm ... I didn't say I'll give you any, did I?

Haha! ... ya, I know its delicious!

So where shall we go after my milkshake drink?

OK, 1 last sip before we go ... wait for me Daddy!

A FISH WITH NO EYES !

These are pictures taken from my brother's fish tank in his home. This fish is sort of a miracle ... it shows how God works in mysterious ways. This particular fish is blind, has no eyes in the eye sockets & yet it survives. If I were to see this picture on the Net, I would not have believed it myself ... I would think its a hoax or "doctored" picture. But seeing the fish in person, with my own eyes, made me a believer. God is GREAT!

I will try to get better pics of the fish, next time round.

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!

Well it was another birthday celebration for the family. This time round its was my sister-in-law's, Kak Idah & her son's (Syafiq) birthday. As usual, we never fail to make merry & eat lots of food. Of course there was cake & lots of catch-up to do. Whilst the adults talk, the kids played merrily ...

At the end of the day, everyone was happy & full. Haha ... till the next party ... we eagerly await (which is very soon ... Ayra's big birthday bash is coming soon!)

Grandma & granddaughter ... started off first.

Food, food, food!

Beep! Beep! Excuse me, Uncle Asni ... please make way!

Ryan says to motorbike : OK, you stay here ... while I go eat!

The birthday cake!

As usual, the kiddies can't wait to blow the candles (eventhough its not their birthday!)

Ryan claps, whilst Nenek holds him (just in case he decides to kiss the cake!)

Syafiq : Oh no! I'm a year older now ...

Birthday girl, Kak Idah ... giving the double-peace sign (whilst hubby looks on).

Everyone's here now!

Its this way ... let me show you guys.

I'll do it ... you guys watch ok?

Nenek grabs hold of Ryan for a photo-op, whilst Ayra poses daintily.

Whilst the cake gets cut by Bibik Idah, Ayra poses for the camera.

Ryan going for his rounds in his cousin's red car.

THE WHITE TIGER!

The white tiger video was something I wanted to post here because ... how often do you get to see one ... especially if it was eagerly strutting up & down for all to look on, in awe. It was majestic & fierce, cool even. To think that it attacked a person not too long ago ... now thats scary! But can you really blame a wild animal that was provoked & agitated purposely ... it was just trying to protect its turf & being in defensive mode, I guess. Well its not up 2 me to say, but take a look for yourself & ponder ...

In the video, you can hear Ryan commenting "bite, bite" ... he says that to all animals he see. He seems to think that all animals bite because when our cat, Baby was still around, he was scratched a couple of times because he "provoked" the kitty. So to make things easier, I asked him if the cat "bite" him (he had already learnt the word bite at at time). So the story goes ... the legacy my beloved cat left him ... he taught my son that ALL animals bite. Wise cat, Baby was!!!

Its 3 am ... its time for me to turn in. Before I go, I wanna put up a photo of my son, Ryan.

Cheese, Mama!

He's the light of my life & he keeps me going when there's no more hope. He's the reason ... why I'm still around. I love you, Ryan.

Keep the faith ... & carry on!

Sigh ...

The things we do haunt us wherever we go, the decisions we make follow us wherever we lead ... our family & loved ones, they prosper or suffer from our marked decisions. Options we made many years ago are not so easily forgotten. Bad mistakes don't just slid away, they stay on as a reminder of our wretched existence, our sheer stupidity, our ingrained stubborness, our pathetic state, our mundane lives ... we can't escape it. God remind us that we are part of the bigger picture ... always!

Do we stay or do we go, only love & faith decides ...

A DAMN STRESSFUL WEEK !

Its finally Friday night (or should I say its Saturday morning ... 12.52am). Its been a tough week for us. Those in the know ... knows what happened, those who don't ... won't know the anguish & stress we had to go through, with one bad news after another. As much as I can, I wanted to believe that everything will be alright but in reality it wasn't. Even as we have sorta sorted out the issues, its just a temporary measure & much more await us. Why are we faced wif so much problems? Why are we always at the end of our wits! I am so sad at the state we are in but I try damn hard not to get depressed & pray hard that we can work out a solution, albeit a temporary one even. I am desperate for things 2 get just a little bit better but I know I'm asking for a miracle.

Whenever life kicks you when you are down ... you look around for a helping hand, a tender word of hope. You then realize that at the end of the day its your family ... there in the background, stretching that hand, offering sagely advice & sending prayers to God for a speedy respite or solution. Sometimes friends will be there for you, sometimes they can't but families are tied by blood that binds them through life & death. And in life you'll get to see the love that enamates through that thing we call "blood". Their love knows no bounds. You won't get to see much of that fabled love & support in good times but its those bad & desperate times that you need love & support, do you get to see their devotion & loyalty to you. Why do I write these in words, when it should be a given that your family loves ... believes ... supports you? Its because I know that not all families are like that! I know that I'm lucky, I'm blessed, I'm grateful ... Though its hard at times 2 fanthom a life without worries, I am thankful to have their prayers of of love.

My mum has been a constant pillar of strength for me all my life. She has been so supportive in word & spirit & I am very sure her prayers has kept me & my family out of the gallows, many a times. Whenever I need advise or a sounding-board, she will be there for me. I will always be grateful for that. Ironically as my mum is not tech savy she will never know of these words I spoke but it is enough for me .. to pen my words for myself, a reminder that God always knew who had to be my mum. I am blessed for that. My mum & me ... we are so similar in nature that we argue & collide constantly but I know I will ALWAYS have a place in her heart. She worries for me like I worry for my son, Ryan. I know if she could help me, she would ... in a heartbeat, just like I would for her & for Ryan. Now that I am a mother, do I understand the enormity of a mother's love. Every mother loves her children but only when you have given life to another human being ... do you realise that your child is but an extension of your own life, love, emotions, heartache, sorrow, pleasure, pain ... in your child, you see yourself.

As a parent, I am ashamed that I can't give more, provide more for my son. I wish I can do better but I am but a product of my own devices. I want to provide him a better life, not the one that I lived. I want hubby & me 2 be able 2 leave this world knowing that we did our darnest in raising him, that we are proud 2 be his parents, 2 be able 2 be in his life ..

All we can do is try as best we can, to survive ... and though there are times that I wanna give up, give in, I know that my family depends on me - to stay strong! Its so hard sometimes ... that at times I wish it would all end ... but my faith, my religion, my family, my love for my son & my husband helps me hold on ... to that tiny piece of hope that one day it will all be history. That one day I will wake up ... not having to worry about mundane stuff like how to survive another bl**dy day. Its sad & pathetic how life can be. Things can spiral out of control & you have little power to stop it. All you can do is ride it out & hope you come out the other end unscathed, bloody but still alive.

Give me hope, so I can stay on longer
Give me a hand, so I can help myself
Give me a lift, so I can stand
Give me a reason, so I can be a believer
Give me support, so I can be stronger
Give me love, so I can love back
Give me a sign, so I can keep my faith
Give me wind, so I can soar a little higher
Give me wings, so I can fly ...

Help me carry on ... so that I have the will to survive
Have faith in me ... so that I still have my dignity
Have hope in me ... so that I have faith in myself
Have trust in me ... so that I believe in myself
Have love for me ... for its so hard to love myself.

Give me some strength, for I am weak
Give me some hope, for I am hopeless
Give me some faith, for I am faithless
Give me some devotion, for I am useless
Give me some love, for I am loveless
Give me some lead, for I am aimless
Give me some fuel, for I feel empty inside
Give me some direction, for I am lost.

Through tears, desperation & heartache
We seek forgiveness ...

Forgive me for who I am
Forgive me for what I've become
Forgive me for what I've done
Forgive me for what I'll do
Forgive me for all my sins
Forgive me .... Forgive me.