RANDOM PICS & UPDATE

Here's Ryan with his Daddy, enjoying the first meal of the day. Most weekends Ryan will request for his favourite "tata" (prata). We indulge our child coz when a fussy eater requests for any meal, his parents are happy to follow suit. I know prata isn't the healthiest of food but any parent of a fussy-eating child will vouch for, is that we take whatever comes. When my child eats something I buy bulks of it or let him eat his lot (eventhough we do try to restrict his prata & milkshakes to weekends treats only). I am still trying my best to introduce more variety of food for Ryan but its been an uphill task.

Some success these couple of weeks have been - frozen hash browns & fish fingers (lightly pan-fried with extra virgin olive oil), boiled quail eggs, cheats home-made pizza (using frozen pita bread, smeared with spaghetti sauce & served with whatever toppings of desire + cheese), fried Maggie "mee goreng" using just a smidgen of seasoning, home-made boiled mash potatoes with carrots & broccoli.

I am still trying to be creative & will try to add more to his menu. I know that frozen stuff ain't the most healthy but I just do what I can. Bah to those mummies who think that only fresh stuff should be served to kids. We are a family on a very tight budget & with limited resources, you try to be creative or you just die trying. I am reading up a lot on kids meals & borrowing tonnes of cookbooks to pick-up to some recipes to try out for the family. I hope I will have some success to report in the future. Meanwhile, I am just trying out whatever I can. Next week, I will try instant waffles on Ryan. Fruits are still rejected - oranges, apples, grapes ... only local longan are eaten by Ryan. Also trying to think of new stuff, to introduce ...

Daddy, cooling down the tea, that juniour always insist on sipping.

Hurry up, Papa! Me thirsty!

A hand for Mummy!

Playing with his fork & spoon.

Peace ... for the day!

I feed you some air, Papa!

At the nearby kid's playground.

Looking cute!

I'm making a wish ... to play forever!

Hey! My wish came true ... I'm still here!

BACK-DATED POSTS

Just some back-dated stuff to upload. Below are some random pics taken of hubby & son. First few are taken at the famous Bugis Junction water-fountain. Ryan always insists on visiting this water feature whenever we are around this mall. Since I frequent BHG & Kinokuniya often, this fountain gets "visited" quite frequently.

As usual, hubby & Ryan gets close for some water action. Funny how looking at most of the pics here in my blog are of my son & hubby. Not funny haha but funny in an ironic but good way coz for a man that really dislikes his photos being taken, Steven has a lot of photos taken of him (mostly with his son) since Ryan was born. In fact, he has more pics taken with his beloved than he does with his wife. Since we've been married we don't really have a lot of photos taken together (not counting wedding pics, those not counted lah!) because hubby doesn't like to pose for photos but its quite ironic now coz the birth of his only son has changed him so much. He's become the model-poser who's rather patient & game for almost anything!

Yah, its true that it usually the crazy mummy with the digicam perpetually plastered on her face that's taking the pics but I noticed that he gamely poses with Ryan coz he knows it makes his wife & son very happy. Thanks hubby ... I know you do these for us. Thank you for allowing me to snap the thousands of photos of Ryan & you coz capturing my two favourite guys in my life, makes me the happiest. Thank you for giving me gems to look at whenever I am at the computer, thank you for letting me "steal" some of the precious moments that you get to share with our beloved son. Thank you for being ever so patient & gracious. I thank you ...

With many more photos ... in the future!

Look how happy Ryan is!

These photos below were taken in a mall across from Bugis Junction. I think its called Illuma. The place was rather deserted & some of the shops were not even occupied or being renovated. It still had the "new" mall smell ... dusty! In the upper level, there was an arcade, so that;s wehere we stopped by. Ryan loved taking the kiddie rides. There were gigantic Pikachu & Ultraman for him to ride. We crossed the road back to Bugis after that & settled on the ubituqous chocolate milkshake at McDonald's.

Papa, I think I need a short break ...

OK, ready to go!

Giant Pikachu!

Cheeky smiles, all around!

Enjoying his usual drink of the weekend!

Sharing some love with Daddy!

Yummy!

A mischevious smile!

A last sip before we go!

RANDOM PICS

Once again, its random pics time ... of my hyper-active munchkin. Here he is just lying around in his orange jammies, getting ready for bed. He was in "upside-down" mode & gave me a few gems to snapshot. Ryan is constantly happy & grinning ... & that bring a smile on my face whenever I get those smiles in photos. That way I get to capture a moment in time in his childhood ... a happy time, when nothing else matters but having a good time. Every child should enjoy his or her childhood whilst he can coz when tween-hood arrives & adulthood beckons, it aint a smooth sailing ride. So savour childhood whilst its still around!

FUN CAR RIDE

Ryan looked on this ride in earnest but I wasn't really sure ... I was afraid he would be scared of the moving cars so I was rather apprehensive. But he gave me his puppy-dog look & I caved! So here he is, for the 1st time ... riding those rides at the pasar malam.

Looking very happy indeed!

All smiles!

Enjoying the ride!

Hobbing along!

Giving a wave to his ardent spectators - his parents!

Looking behind, to make sure the other cars were moving.

Daddy giving Ryan a shout-out!

Ermm ... Daddy are you still there?

Is it ending soon Mama?

After seeing the photos & video, I sorta realised that it was actually rather dangerous for Ryan to ride all by himself. The seat belts provided were just for show ... I mean Ryan wore them but I think if anything were to happen, them seat belts definitely aren't going to help much. Besides the speed of the rides were pretty fast for a two year old. I bet any child falling off the car ride will get pretty hurt if no one rescues them almost immediately. I don't know if I will let Ryan ride on his own ever again but I will have to decide when the time comes. Maybe I'm one of those mums that are overly cautious but I can't help it - that's my baby! I know there are times we have to learn to let go & be more flexible & let our kids try some things in life but I'm just not ready yet ... I guess! Maybe that will come more naturally to me as Ryan grows older & I am more confident of Ryan's abilities & stability.

The rather whiny voice in the background is obviously mine (I dunno why my voice goes shrill-ly when recorded, maybe its always been like that but I just refuse to accept it ... haha!). You can also hear hubby's voice in the background. Ryan was rather quiet as he was busy enjoying the ride. I'm glad the video went up this time, as I have tried loading up videos countless of times without avail ... as they tend to hang & I simply can't be bothered to try again. It did take eons to load up but at least it didn't hang this time. That gives me the confidence to try uploading vids again next time. We'll see!

MORE RANDOM PICS

Just some random pics for muah's memory.

Ryan giving his Mama a cheeky grin.

Another cheeky pose!

Driving yet another ride.

Looking very much a driver, although this ride doesn't move!

One of Ryan's classic pose ... looking nowhere!

Mama, can we bring this car home?

Papa trying to "steal" Ryan's favourite milkshake?

Who's that Ryan? Its Mama, taking your photos, yet again!

Admiring his new choo-choo train from Daiso.

RANDOM PICS

Before I turn in for the night (its 1:50 in wee morning), I wanted to post some pics of my two boys. This was taken in the Special Care Ward, where Ryan stayed for the first 11 days of his life. Look how tiny he was! He was just over 2kg, a real light weight for a full-term baby (he fitted nicely on the cradle of his daddy's hand). But I was really relieved when we managed to bring him home when they gave him the all clear. At last, I had my baby safe with me, at home.

As you can see, Steven was a natural as a 1st time dad & till today, 29 months after his son was born, he still got the knack of carrying his only (wild) child.

Father & son ... then & now!

January 2007

June 2009

MORE NEW WORDS

Ryan's new words, profiled ... for Mummy's own knowledge.

219. Thats it!
220. Buy kite (he saw some kids kite flying on TV recently)
221. Busy
222. Another one
223. This one

More to come ... I hope.

100TH POST ...

As I've seen with other blogs, people celebrate the 100th of everything - blog posts, bentos, recipes, etc. I wasn't trying to be like the many drone ants out there but ironically, here I am reflecting all that I've written in the past 100 entries. As I was posting the previous entry, I realised that this was gonna be my 100th post. Hhhmm, wow ... I've mused, ranted, grumbled, bitched for at least a hundred times ... haha!well, at least on this blog. Wow! I am amazed that I've gotten this far. When I started this blog, it was from the urgings of my sis, to write a little bit about my son, Ryan ... but this blog has been the perfect avenue for me to pour out my feelings & more.

I am 1st & foremost Ryan's mum but I am also my hubby's wife, my parent's daughter, my niece & nephews' aunt, my buddies' friend but I am also my own person. Through this blog, I have managed to pen down some of my innermost feelings, stuff that I probably couldn't relate to anyone in particular. Eventhough I have people around me that are willing to listen to my endless rumblings, there are times that you just need to ponder things for yourself. Writing here is like talking to a psychiatrist if you will, but its just that the good doctor doesn't talk back & you get no pearls of wisdom in return. Heck! you just try to figure things out for yourself ... just like many things in life.

Calling it therapeutic, is an understatement, coz it really is! Blogging allows you to write out some pent up feelings, reflect on the current state of your "miserable" life & makes you ponder awhile ... while life goes on. Putting things in print allows you to look back on your past life, & let's you rediscover what really matters, are the simple moments like holding hands & having a good meal ... with your loved ones.

It also allowed me to show "off" to the world ... my beautiful family - my hubby, Steven & my son, Ryan, whom I love so dearly, whom I don't deserve. It allowed me to put up the tonnes of photographs that might have gone "buried" in computer-land coz they were not printed & hidden, long forgotten. Putting the countless pictures here allowed me to enjoy all the special moments we shared & let me see how my son has grown, these past two years. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing him literally, grow up in pictures. Its turned out to be an invaluable point of reference for me to look & see, how far we've come ... till today. I am really glad that I chose to blog last year & I don't think I will stop any time soon.

Through blogging, I have also come across many other blogging sites that I've learnt & picked up ideas from. Recently it has even piqued my interest in Bentos, the Japanese art of packed lunch. I was keen to try out packing snacks & lunch for my son coz he's been a really fussy eater & I thought, if I had to decorate & cutie-fy his food so that he'll eat more, than that's what I will do. Well, you never will know how 1 thing, leads to another.

Blogging has also allowed me to revisit the simple art of writing. I've always loved the written word. Infact, I've had designs when I was much younger ... to be a writer of sorts. Funny how life works & the decisions that you make doesn't always lead you to your unfulfilled destination. As obvious to everyone, I am definitely not a paid writer for I have no paper qualifications to speak of but I'll be damned if someone is gonna shut the writer in me.

Eventhough my sentences are far from perfect, my grammar in shambles, my punctuations gone awry ... this will not stop me from writing. I may not exhibit the distinctions that I've gotten during the major exams, I am sure getting some practise out of it. My writings ain't perfect & I will be the first to tell you that but blogging has definitely helped me "release" the pent-up-imprisoned-writer that just yearns to jump out of the surprise birthday cake. I can still rant like no other, I am still as long-winded & I can "yak" & grumble non-stop ... but I take it all, as I am who I am.

Forgive my humble assumptions that some people might actually enjoy reading my writings but I am writing this blog 1st & foremost for my son, myself & my hubby. If someone out there, enjoys reading the simple life that I lead & appreciate my cynical outlook & pessimistic views on life, than good for them & I thank you for that. Me ... I just do it coz its good for me ... & my sanity. If one day, I stop enjoying it ... I will just stop but at the moment, its not too soon.

Happy blogging Lynn! Be yourself ... for at the end of the day, that's all you have.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT & TRY

I read in some of the Mummy blogs ... some very interesting to-do's. Some are quite ambitious for muah anyway but I thought oh what the heck! I can just try out some of their ideas & see how things go. I dun know if trying someone's way is "stealing" their ideas but I look at it as an appreciation of good brain cells. I mean if you see something good & incredible, why can't you follow it. Isn't it a great compliment if someone reads your blogs & think that what you're doing is a swell of an idea. I hope the Mummies I read from aren't offended if I try some of their ways in my blog. I have read some blogs that rave & rant about others copying their ideas or works, so I was kinda worried that the "owners" of these ideas might come looking to "sue" my pants off - I dearly hope not! I can't really write out or give credit to their blogs because I read tonnes of blogs at times & most times I can't even recall where I've read or seen the ideas or sparks. I just hope they don't mind me "emulating" a success story. So here goes ...

One of the blogs write of Snapshot Sunday. Taking 5 random pictures of mostly stuff, not people. Hhhmm, that might be kinda difficult for me as I just looovvee to take pictures of my son. But its a wonderful idea, I thought! Maybe my take of this won't be just of Sunday (why limit yourself to 1 day of the week?). Most probably I will look into Snapshots Weekend ... as we are mostly up & about during the weekends. I will try this out this end week & see how that works out.

One of the websites that I love reading is this - Wendolonia. This lady is really funny & witty. She has two sons & she writes about her family, bentos, crafts & life in general. She started this idea in 2009, blogging & photographing every day of her life, on a weekly basis. That sounds kinda interesting to me. The only glitch is that most weekdays, I am stuck at home with Ryan ... so how interesting can that be? Oh well, its worth a try though. I am a bit embarrassed about photographing our small & humble (& messy) home though. So I dunno, we'll just wait & see. This idea interests me coz if a photograph is taken for every day of the week, it kinda showcases your life in its entirety - 365 days a year! Its kinda cool to look back on the year passed in pictures, especially when you are a mummy to a 2 year old Energizer-Bunny, who's constantly active & squirmy. They say that kids grow up soooo fast ... its so true, I can vouch for that! So maybe having photographs documenting our lives will be a fantastic idea. Just go with the flow right .... ?

Well, I'm just gonna try out these few ideas (maybe this week) & see if it pans out. Wish me luck!

P. S : One of the reasons why I think these 2 ideas (among many) are good for me right now is because I feel that my blog needs a bit of focus (huh? u mean blogs need a focus-direction?!). Sometimes I ramble too much about nothing in particular & I take too many pictures of mundane, ordinary stuff. So I thought I needed to re-focus & take better pictures, that had more meaning & as a project of sorts. Oh well, let's see if my laziness doesn't set in too fast before I can try it out.

MY SON, THE "MIX-ED" BOY!

I am feeling rather tired but I resolved 2 get more in print now when I have the chance coz I know that I might not have the chance 2 blog as much all the time. I have recently decided, 2 put more effort in my family's meals, cooking more often n trying 2 keep us healthy n well fed (haha ... aren't we already well fed enough?). I know that I have been rather lax lately (I think LAZY is more the word) ... so I'm trying my best, 2 make up for it.

Though I love eating (can't u tell, from my size?), I am determined 2 raise my son into a healthy young man. I am thankful that he has his daddy's "skinny" genes n not mine (very fat ones). Looking at Ryan ... most people would never have guessed that he "came out" of me, that he's my son (coz he's small-size & skinny but I'm short & fat). In fact, he looks a lot like his daddy (with the exception of his eyes n lashes), his skinny arms, his high ribs (rib-cage), his muscular calf's, his hyper-active ways n the fact that he can eat tonnes ... & not gain ANY weight. Ha! I wish I could "borrow" some of their gene-pool ... but I'm just glad that he's more like Steven than me, in this aspect.

At least I don't have to worry about his health, him being fat or overweight or constantly being ridiculed or looked down for being obese. Unlike Ryan, I was never the small or skinny kid. Though I'm at my heaviest now, I was never slim ... slim-mer maybe, but I can NEVER, EVER be considered thin or slender. And because I am short too (duh! good combination huh?), it makes it a double whammy. Sometimes I even wonder what Steven sees in me ....OK, OK ... stop being so depressing n negative! Just be thankful that Ryan got the right "share" of genes. One other thing that I hope Ryan "gets" from his daddy ... his height! So that he can be a slim, tall man ... not so much for looks or that sort but more because I know Ryan will have a "tough time" in other areas, amongst others, being neither a Chinese nor Malay.

That's why I wish, he would have certain favourable factors working for, rather than against, him. Already we get tonnes of comments like him being very fair, even for a Chinese baby! (u mean they expected him to be dark?! - just because I'm Malay). People are equally amazed that he is of mixed parentage because he looks more Chinese than Malay. Some people wonder why his eyes are so big n his eyelashes so long (being most of these comments made by the Chinese folk). How do I explain these strangers (without being extremely rude or obnoxious), that he's "mixed" - that's why!

Even his name is a clear reflection of his parentage. We decided on it because we wanted him to be a reflection of both his parents race & heritage. Because Ryan is neither "pure" Chinese nor Malay, in the eyes of the law he is Chinese by race (by virtue of his Daddy's race). Sometimes we get stares (or such), like when we speak in English in a Malay environment (like in Geylang or at a halal restaurant) or when he says words like - Nenek, Kakak or Atok ... to strangers who are obviously Chinese, & wonders why he's "calling" them in Malay.

Its a odd situation, I guess. We speak English because my hubby n me converse in that language n so naturally we raised our son in a similar fashion. I do try to inculcate, though randomly ... Malay words or the equivalent of an English word, so that Ryan can learn n understand his grandparents, cousins, aunts & uncles. Besides, wouldn't it be weird if he doesn't understand a word of Malay. Though I have 2 admit that I am not worried that he will not be able to converse in Malay because firstly ... I will not allow it to happen! Secondly, he's surrounded by his maternal relatives all the time, so that makes it impossible for him to "escape" being exposed to it. Thirdly, Malay is an easier language to pick up, conversation wise ... academically, now that's a different matter. In fact, I am worried that he will have a hard time with Mandarin.

As his daddy doesn't speak Mandarin nor his dialect at home, I wonder when will Ryan get to pick up on it. I do try to watch some Mediacorp's Mandarin series when we are at home & I noticed that Ryan loves watching them too. But that's as much as I can do at the moment. I know when he enters primary school, my worries will go into overdrive coz he will be expected to speak n learn Mandarin. We have decided to let Ryan take Mandarin as a second language because its clearly more advantageous for him in the future. Not only will it help him in his career, it only makes sense when you have a Chinese father (thus being Chinese by race) that you are able to speak the language. Doesn't it?!

Well, picking up dialects is another issue. Though I do want him to pick up his daddy's dialect, I don't really know how 2 help him in that. I guess Steven has 2 pick up the slack on this one as I am not dialect-inclined (unless u count swear words ... haha!). Language aside, religion n culture, rites & practices ... all these will square off in the near future. Ryan is a combination of two races, cultures & with it comes 2 sets of everything. He is both, but he is neither. Like his name, Ryan will be faced with numerous obstacles ... his allegiance questioned, his loyalty challenged, his choices criticised, his very existence ... being a dilemma.

Be it in everyday life or in the future, he will have to face the fact that some people of either side of the race, will give him a hard time. Some people just can't seem to understand why his parents had to marry in the first place, diluting the race n such (trust me, there are people like that!). Some can accept him, but question why he can't be one race over the other. Though many will never come to accept him as he is ... & I would understand, coz even lil old me, born of parents of the same race, find it hard to blend in with my own kind coz believe it or not, I don't really feel like I belonged there. I guess that's why I ended up marrying n dating outside of my race, having mainly only close Chinese friends, etc. Why? I really can't tell you ... its just been that way for the longest time.

A lot of my Malay schoolmates didn't "click" with me & vice versa. I naturally find myself mixing mostly with the other races. Am I odd? Maybe in that sense I am. I kinda had a very hard time, as a teenager, being the only Malay girl that didn't have a single Malay friend. The Malay girl that had a Chinese boyfriend, the Malay gal that speaks mostly in English ... so I sorta know how its feels to be on neither side of the fence. I can forsee that Ryan might go through some of the things that I had to go through in my younger days. He might be better off than me (I guess people are more open-minded now) or he might have a harder time, by virtue of his lineage. Even the prospects of marriage will be hard for him coz on either side of the race, there will be objections & rejections, especially with religion.

Though I longed for a child for the longest time, I could forsee that the children that I have will be faced with similar challenges because of the choices that Steven & I have made, being married to each other. All I can do is to give my children the skills to handle themselves in the future, guide them & pray for their happiness. I can only pray that their lives will be filled with much love and that they will be adored & cherised, for who they are and not what their race is. I hope they bring with them their rich heritage of Chinese & Malay roots, wherever life may take them. I want them to be proud of who they are & what they represent ... a combination of their parents' love.

To my beloved son, Ryan Yusuf, I have faith ... that you will grow up to be a good & strong man, responsible & dedicated, righteous & abled, noble & humble. What the future may bring, you will face it with dignity & pride, honour & loyalty. No matter what life gives you, be faithful to who you are & believe that though life ain't fair, do good things without expectations & you will be blessed with a life full of love & joy always. Although Mummy & Daddy will no longer be by your side when you are older, I know I will go away, with much pride because you will be the carrier of your Daddy's lineage n good honourable name. In you, we will live on ... always!