CLOUDY, HAZY OR CLEAR SKIES ?

The dark & cloudy skies have not cleared ... yet, but I am beginning to see some ray of light over the horizon. Some semblance of sanity has returned. Coherence is slowly returning to my mind but there are many challenges I foresee ahead. The salty showers that rain over my eyes are slowly drying up, but it is in the background ready to overflow anytime. I am holding on ...

I will persevere

I will be resilient

I will prevail

I will sustain ... I will survive!

Whatever may be, I know I have to be strong, I have to be true. I cannot foresee the future nor do I know what God has in store for me but I will keep my head held high as I walk through these treacherous & uncertain times.

The choices I have made ... they shape who I am today. I am neither faultless nor do I profess to be the bearer of perfection. I do not pretend to be righteous nor am I a "saint". I do not pretend to be virtuous nor am I unsullied. None of us are unblemished!

I am just a simple soul trying to find my place in this forsaken world. I am just trying to lead a purposeful life. I am just trying to raise a good child. I am just trying to be a worthy mother. Whether I succeed or fail, it is only for God to judge ...

If it may be that my life is meant to go in an another direction, so be it. This is my destiny. I will have to learn to accept it!

No matter what may come,
I will have to be strong,
I will have to be resilient.
I need to be brave &
I need to be courageous.
I need to be steadfast.

I will not be swayed by others nor will I bend my beliefs for them. If they cannot accept me as I am, then so be it. I have lived enough of my life to know that you can't please everyone ... you can only please yourself ... by doing the best you can. Nothing can take away your right to be true to yourself. Nothing can take away your values, ideals & principles. No one can take away what's important to you. No one can tell you what is black, or white or grey ... you need to decide what colours you want in your life!

I am not here to please anyone nor everyone. Only God knows my heart & only to Him that I will be judged. For those who mock, for those who question, for those who judge ... keep away for I have none the time to care.

I have enough woes to last me a lifetime ...
I seek no sympathy.
I seek no favours.
I seek no empathy.
I will fight my own battles, like I always do!

I have my faith & I have my child ... that is all I need.

Coz nothing else matters!