Another entry to round up the end of 2008, here we are at a mall (yet again!). Ryan loves taking the kiddy rides and even when not all rides are "entertained" by his parents, he would still like to climb on the rides & sit awhile. Well, that's my son ...

Some photos of us with Ryan, which turned out quite well. He was very happy that night ... so I managed 2 get a few nice shots of him.

AN MRT TRIP

I wanted 2 feature the trip we took on the MRT recently, not because it was extraordinary but because Ryan seldom takes the train, so I wanted 2 capture it in print. As my hubby drives, we don't usually get the chance to bring Ryan for train (nor bus) rides.

So here he is at the train station, he looks happy now but once he got on the train ... he turned "worried".

I think he felt out of sorts because it was his first time on the train. You can see in the photo, how rigid he was standing, the expression on his face was priceless ... my poor boy!

I doubt this will be our last train ride though ... but I hope he will find it more enjoyable the next time round. The reason for this ride though was because we were meeting my sis & her daughter, Ayra at the mall to spend the day with them. We shopped a bit, played at the arcade (which both kids enjoyed tremendously!) & had a nice lunch at Delifrance (thanks sis!). Well, maybe we can do this again another time!

Here we are ... amusing my son, yet again, at another water feature. This time we were at United Square. Because its night time, you can't see much of the water but there's lots of lights. As usual Ryan loved it (you can tell by the pics).

I am definitely taking more pics recently as I wanna capture more of my family's adventures. Ryan's growing up so fast these days that I feel I wanna note down all his fun times in pictures. These pics are ones leading up to Christmas.

These few are taken on the same day. Ryan loves water features ... and this particular one is one of his favourites, at Marina Square.

This special Christmas tree (at Suntec City) was created by using soft toys (of various sizes). Its rather cute and different. Ryan didn't quite wanted to pose but guess what, it was too unique a tree to miss out on, so I kinda just snapped a few random ones.

Though its already 2009, I just thought I will do up some pics n places we've been, things we were up to ... leading up to the end of 2008. Starting with my recent birthday in December.

Well, Happy Birthday Lynn!!! How does it feel 2 be another year older? Same-O, same-O! This year was a bit bitter-sweet coz most of my extended family members remembered n extended wishes 2 me, which I really appreciated. I guess I sorta expected my good friends to remember but alas they didnt. Well thats life huh? Not that I expected presents or such ... just a simple wish would have been nice. At the end of the day, what can u do when you're insignificant n unimportant ... You can only do so much right? Anyway, it doesn't really bother me coz as I always say, as long as my hubby n son loves me ... thats all that matters 2 me.

Hubby gave me a lovely card (which I always appreciate) n my son clapped while I sang the birthday song, which was so adorable. Ooo! I also got angpows from mum & sis n a GIO voucher from bro. Thank you 2 everyone who remembered my humble birthday .... its always nice to receive gifts but its even nicer 2 be remembered on your special day. I dunno ... maybe I'm just one of those people that really appreciate it if someone remembers my birthday. I don't expect gifts or such nor do I want nor expect any (ahem ... though receiving them is equally nice) ... but a simple greeting or wish really DOES make my day. Why?? Because it reminds me ... that I matter in this world, that I'm just not a "dot", that I am a person worth remembering, that I'm being appreciated & loved.

All in all, its just another birthday ... just another day in my simple life. Oh by the way, my family celebrated my brother's & my birthday, last weekend (our birthdays are just a few days apart!). As usual, we had delicious food (cooked by mum), satay (ordered by sis), cake (bought by me), muffins (baked by bro n sis-in-law). It's always nice 2 have a gathering, just 2 catch up n chit chat, having yummy food n good company. I never fail 2 enjoy our family get-togethers, not so much for the food (which is always delicious), but more for the wonderful n warm company.

In turn, I always make it a point 2 remember other people's birthday, the ones that matter 2 me - my family n friends. I may not have much 2 give nor gifts 2 lavish, but I make it a point 2 at least wish them a wonderful birthday, or a simple card (or a stalk of rose .. hehe!) ... Hey! its a birthday man ... the world should be celebrating that you were born on that day. Though you may feel insignificant, unimportant, unappreciated ... know in your heart that you are still loved, cared, and remembered on your special day, the day that you were born, many many years ago.

I guess thats why even though we are not able to give Ryan a grand birthday, its still important to me that we make it special. Surrounded by family, good food n cake, I just wanna make it special for him. When Ryan's all grown up, I hope he will look back n recall, ALL his birthdays ... marked in print, etched in memory ... the celebration of his beautiful life, that he will have fond memories of them n that mummy n daddy always tried their darnest 2 make it special for him.

As I get older, I now realise how important my immediate n extended family are 2 me. No matter what happens, they will always be there for you, through thick & thin. They are not fair-weather friends that are there for you when they feel like it, they are there for you till the end. Blood is thicker than water, I guess the sayings' SO right. Why did it take me soooo long to see that ... I don't know. Its silly, isn't it! Sometimes you put so much effort, time, love ... caring n worrying about other people but they never even bother about you. You thought that you mean something to someone but its just a mirage ... or maybe, its just wishful thinking. Hhmmm ... que sera, sera .... whatever, will be ... will be!

Having said that, here are some pics of my extended family celebrating my brother's n my birthday in December 2008. Thanks 2 my family for celebrating my special day with me!

Well, guys its 2009!

In fact, today is the 3rd day of the year. Everyone hopes a new year brings with it better luck, me ... I'm no different. I'm very much hoping this year will be better for us as we've had a very tough year meandering the ups n downs of daily life. Trying 2 stay positive is hard when life kicks you when you are down ... but that's what we're are trying to do. We're just trying to survive ... thats all.

On a more positive note, Ryan's birthday is coming up so I'm very much looking forward to that. This year, we're doing it on a much smaller scale - family only. I just hope he will enjoy himself. I'm trying to make it special for him, in my own way, but we are trying to be thrifty but still make it memorable.

Other things on the horizon, hmmm .... well, there's nothing much. We will just take it as it comes. What are my plans for the future? Just trying to stay afloat, be optimistic about the future (which is DAMN hard!) n love my family even more. I guess in hard times, its even more important to love your family ... coz when you're down n out, left penniless ... no one's there but your family. Love them whilst you can ... coz no matter what you have or no matter what you'll turn out to be, your family will always be there for you ... no matter what.

Well, its the last day of 2008, New Year's eve ... hhmmm .... what will everyone be doing 2nite.

For the 3 of us, we don't know yet, we're just going with the flow. We brought Ryan's PJ's n extra stuff just incase we end up somewhere or we might just come home early n sleep off the New Year. We'll see what happens later.

Well, here's wishing everyone a very Happy New Year! May 2009 bring you all more sweet family moments, great blessings, health & lots of luck! Take care n see u all soon !!!

These are another of Ryan's fav. Its organic cheddar bunnies. Its expensive for a box but very tasty. If the duckies are out of stock (which is often), we buy these instead. Both are equally delicious n cost about the same.

BIG BABY EYES

Just wanted 2 post a random pic of my kid. His eyes look so big in this one. Many have commented that he's got big beautiful eyes, long eyelashes ... in other words his eyes look nothing like mine, especially not his daddy's. I guess he was just blessed by God to have those adorable eyes. I am not one 2 boast nor trumpet but I tend 2 agree with those comments on this one. In fact ... I wish I had his eyes n lashes.

A Day Out With Ryan!

Guess where we went 2day? Steven has been outfield since Wednesday n feeling bored n suffering cabin fever (stuck at home 4 the whole week), I decided 2 venture out on my own, wif my son of course. Since he's been obsessed by buses lately, I decided 2 bring him for a bus ride to Causeway Point. We had a nice afternoon doing nothing in particular. We had lunch at KFC (Ryan's fav) n went 2 Kiddy Palace 2 purchase 2 Tomica (a Japanese brand) die-cast model buses. He loved them n wouldn't let go.

All in all I am quite surprised that Ryan was very well behaved (by his standards) 2day. Mostly he listened 2 me n did not demand 2 be carried all the time, unlike when both me n Steven are around. Hmmm ... I wonder why. The other time when his daddy took him for a corporate lunch he was also displaying his "good-boy" syndrome. I wish he could be like that all the time but I know its wishful thinking. Then again, I'll take whatever good times God throws at me. I'm glad I took Ryan out 2day as its proves 2 me that its not that "hard" 2 bring him out for an outing n by public transport at then. I'm glad I took the chance. I was afraid he was gonna give me a hard time - whinning, crying, demanding 2 be carried all the way, etc. but Ryan has proven 2 me that he CAN be a cute, adorable little boy ... when he wants to. I just need those magic keys 2 lock the door that keeps that lil' monster in. I know ... I know, there's no such thing as magic keys. A mummy can wish, can't she?

I'm trying 2 find the time 2 update more ongoings very soon. I'm also thinking of putting up the vast words that Ryan has "mastered" until now, sort of a list, more for myself than for anyone else. I guess its just a small reminder that my lil boy is growing up ... n as his "vocabulary" expands, I wonder what his new word will be. His latest 2 words are - Tatok (a variation of Atok), a term he calls his maternal grandpa. The other word was - Cut : To cut the velcro-ed plastic bread that came with a plastic knife n Mickey Mouse toaster (courtesy of Auntie Lisa - thanks 4 the toy).

Ok gotta go. Ryan is slowly getting on my n-e-r-v-e-s ..... as he keeps running his toy car on the keyboard, banging on the monitor n fingering the mouse. OK, ok ... I know its time 2 go.

Here's a picture of my son, Ryan ... to cheer myself up. Cute huh? Don't u just want 2 pinch those cheeks?

IN LOVING MEMORY OF BABY

(1 April 1990 - 11 December 2008)

At about 4pm today, my beloved cat, Baby passed away. We have been expecting him not to make it through the couple of days because he was really really sick. As he refuses any food or water, deep down I knew he wouldn't last long. But the fighter that he was, he survived for nearly 7 days but it wasn't an easy time. I wondered why he held on for so long. Maybe its his survival instincts ... maybe he just wasn't ready to go.

I prayed to God ... to take him coz I don't want him to suffer any more. I told Baby that if he had to go ... go in peace. I wished I could have made his last days more comfortable and pleasant but I couldn't. Death is a terrible thing but there's no esaping it. I know that I shouldn't be sad that he's gone ... at least he's no longer suffering. I know he's in a better place n God will take care of him, now that my job is done. Though he's been wif us for more than 18 years it feels just like yesterday that my sis picked him up under our old block of flats because she pitied that tiny little kitten that she saw. How funny that she took him in, named him Baby and I ended taking care of him till his end of days.

Baby moved house when we got married n moved again wif us 2 our second home. He gave us much joy n companionship when I was lonely, memories that will never be replicated. As I recently found out through medical tests that I'm allergic 2 cats, I will longer adopt any cat nor any pet for that matter. I may love animals but my allergies n asthma makes it hard for me 2 care for them in the long term. Having a child also divides my time even further so all that is left of my late pets are beautiful memories that will remain wif me always.

Everytime my pet dies ... I feel heartbroken n sorrow. But as the last of my pet n the longest lasting one passed away, I resolve that it is time for me 2 stop being a pet owner. I don't think I can take the hearache anymore. As life itself is pretty tough going for me right now, I think I had enough of heartache 2 last me a lifetime.

Baby,

Now that you're gone ...
Rest in peace my beloved cat
Pain no longer hurts you
Agony no longer haunts you

Know that I will miss you so dearly
Know that I love you so clearly
Know that one day, we will meet again

Meanwhile ...

I will live my life as best I can
Trying to hold on with all strength n might
Keeping up the faith, though its slight
Though its hard knowing that you are gone
I will remember you in fondness
The joy that you gave me all those years

The tears that I shed are not in sadness
They are a testament that you are loved
Though I will miss your presence
Know that in your life ...
You have given me much more than you have
Because you lived, I have gained

Goodnight my Baby ... please give Megan, Bubbles, Buffy, Bonnie n Bulat a hug for me. I miss you guys so so much. I will see you all again some day. Please take care of each other because I can't be there to take care of you guys. I love you all so very much.

Mummy will see you ... very soon.

So many things r happening in my life but I just don't have the time 2 update my blog. Even when I have some free time on my hands, its used 4 house cleaning n clearing, weekend jaunts, visiting my parents, etc. Had my hands full ... even as I type this using 1 finger no less, my other hand is cradling my poor boy as he just woke up from his afternoon nap n proceeded 2 sleep on my lap. Well thats my life ...

Right now, things aren't going well. House is not selling, had arguement wif a good friend, so many bills 2 pay, my cat is extremely sick .... whats NOT going wrong! At least we have our health (n sanity!) n each other. I know I have 2 stay strong n not waver coz life has thrown me so many curveballs lately. Just trying 2 hang on as best I can but sometimes its so hard that I wonder if I can make it.

I'm very sad that my cat is unwell but I don't know what 2 do. He's so sick that he refuses 2 eat or drink n he's just starving himself to death. I know he's old n has lead an extremely fulfilling life with us for the past 18 years but seeing him like that just breaks my heart. Hubby teased me that I would probably write a poem when Baby (that's my cat's name) dies n I told him I wouldn't. Not because I didn't want 2 but because I just didn't have the time. He teased me coz when my first guinea pig died years ago, I wrote several poems - 2 ease the pain. I dun know, maybe I'm soft by nature, emotional 2 the core n I cry when I lose someone ... even if its just a pet.

I wish that I wouldn't cry n move on easily like most people but alas thats just who I am - a softie! Part of me wants 2 ease his pain n suffering coz I know he's not gonna make it but I dun think that I can put him down either. Having 2 cremate him is another issue that haunts me as we dun believe in cremation. Alas finding a place 2 bury him in concrete Singapore is virtually impossible as even people have limited place not 2 mention pets. As Baby lays in a corner, I slowly see life seep out of him ... yet there is nothing I can do 2 help him.

As per our usual weekend escapades, we usually end up at Vivocity. Why there? Coz its Ryan's favourite mall n there's lots of shops n things 2 see. There's also Giant, where we usually stock up on Fudin's (my nephew) baby fruit juice for my sis, so its killing many birds wif one stone, if u will.

Ryan loves the "sprouting" water feature in the front of Vivo n of course he looovveeessss the kids wading pool at the top of the mall. Here are some pics to show his sheer happiness ...

Here's some pics of Ryan, wif his favourite Kakak at Vivo (again? haha!). After that we went 2 see the pack of parrots at Demsey Road but unfortunately they were in their cages so it wasn't that fun nor upfront. Its obvious Ryan enjoyed that day coz he had Ayra 2 play wif him. I guess being an only child makes him a very lonely kid. Its clear that he enjoys company, especially at playtime.

Trying 2 upload the vid of them wading in the pool. Hope it goes through ... They were cute but very naughty... n very wet!!!

Today I finally found some time 2 update my blog. I have lots of "backlog 2 clear" ... 2 put it simply I've been caught up wif real life 2 have the time 2 update on my life ... haha that sounds ironic isn't it. Ok here goes ... an update of whats been happening the past few weeks after Hari Raya.

1st n formost the house visits 2 my brother's place n my family visiting our house the following week. We had our usual makan sessions n merry making. As usual, when we all gather its a riot n kids aplenty, but thats what I look forward 2 every year. As the years pass, its incredible how the kids have grown older, bigger n taller. Now that Ryan has joined the gang of rugrats, its simply a joy 2 see him growing up wif his cousins.

Hari Raya this year was a simple affair but I realised that even the simplest n "cheapest" ways can create good memories for us. I vow 2 instill in my son n family, simple traditions n activities that will be remembered in years to come. Hopefully when my son's older he will look back on those days wif fond memories.

Some pics of the gathering at our place ... note 2 hubby : u didn't get many nice shots lah!

Well thats the end of merry making for the year of 2008 Hari Raya. Next year I wil try 2 get better pics n vids. Hope everyone enjoyed themselves!

My sis asked me the other day .. "Eh! U never updated your blog?" Errr ... no time lah!

Ok ok, it's a lame excuse. After saying that I will take lots of pictures n stuff (which I did) for the blog, I'm kinda bogged down wif stuff. With Hari Raya visitings n outings, home viewings, weekend expeditions, running of errands, grocery shopping, cooking n cleaning, falling sick (both me n Ryan) n of course taking care of my two boys, I have but little time left to rest, much less any time for myself. Hhhm ... but I hope 2 find the time soon, 2 update some of the new pics n vids.

Well, time 2 go n have my dinner (of buns). Can u imagine, its a Sunday evening n we r home soooo early. Haha ... well life is full of the unexpected.

Last Look At Hari Raya ... From Ryan

I decided 2 give special space 2 these couple of pics of my son. One is of him n his favourite person, Kakak Ayra. He's seen here touching her cute button nose. Don't they look adorable!

Another pic is of Ryan admiring n inspecting his new ang pow collection, very intently. Even at a tender age, Ryan can really appreciate money ...

A final entry ...

After we came back home from by brother's place 2 pass a birthday gift for Syahmi's 3rd birthday, we found out that we could not enter our home, we were locked out because our door lock was faulty. Thus another eventful episode ensued as we called a locksmith, waited 4 him (bout 45 mins) n drove nearby 2 purchase a new lock. $55 n bout five minutes after the locksmith tampered n poked, we were in the house. By that time it was past, 10pm n by the time Ryan slept at 11, hubby was still doing up the new lock. Thank God he's handy with stuff.
And so, we ended the day on a not so good note, but still thankful that we managed 2 sleep in our beds tonight. It was past 1am, when we all managed 2 sleep, n soon thereafter Ryan woke up 4 his night feed. Well, I can't say that it wasn't an eventful 2008 Hari Raya coz it was n I dun think I will never ever 4get it.

OK,Hari Raya came n gone. Here are some photos etched in memory. For the first time, my photos will be up there. As u can see, I'm not exactly model material, so I try 2 stay out of the limelight, if I can help it. I am sensitive about my weight n size (who isn't?) n I try 2 take people commenting about my size in my stride. I try very hard not 2 get offended or slighted by those unsolicited, hurtful, unwarranted degoratory comments but I am only human (if only people can keep their comments 2 themselves maybe someone like me can feel more normal). Hubby's colleagues asked why there r no pictures of me on the blog (until now). I guess throughout the years I've gotten used 2 not taking pictures n snapping pics of others. Now that I have a kid, I enjoy taking pics of of him n his daddy instead. Ok enough explanation bout the non-existent pics of me.

I decided 2 post pics of me dis time because Hari Raya is too special 2 miss out on memorable snapshots of my immediate n extended family. You can virtually feel the love radiating from the pictures. Though our family is not perfect (which family is?), we r loving, caring n help one another whenever possible. We celebrate each other's birthdays by buying gifts, cakes n good food, we share our problems when we need a listening ear or advise, we offer n give help without want of reward or obligation. I know that I'm lucky that my extended family is there 4 me when I need them n I just wanted 2 share wif the world what a great bunch they are. Their laughter n smiles never fail 2 brighten my day.

Steven, Ryan n me would not be complete, without them in our lives

Selamat Hari Raya!!!

Before we start the day wif visitings n good food, just wanted 2 wish everyone a simple greeting.

"Selamat Hari Raya! Maaf Zahir & Batin". Salah dan silap seluruh tahun harap dimaafkan, makan dan minum harap dihalalkan, kalau ada yang tersinggung dan terlebih harap di lupakan. Akhir sekali, semoga berbahagia disamping keluarga yang disayangi. Jumpa lagi tahun hadapan!!!

I'm sure I will get 2 snap lots of good new year photos n vids 4 2day. Hopefully I can load them up soon. Meanwhile, happy eating n drinking n merry-making!!!

Its Saturday morning n I can forsee that this weekend will be a tiring one too. Why? Coz Hari Raya's round the corner n knowing me, I feel the need 2 scrub, dust n clean the whole house spick n span. Why do u ask am I doing the whole works when we know we r about 2 move? Well, as years past, house-cleaning is a tradition in my household coz it usually gets us (me especially) in the mood. The fasting, cleaning, buying of new clothes n goodies definitely brings about the festive mood.

As years b4, we r being thrifty n recycling what we can coz we dun believe in wastage n besides a lot of stuff r useable n still in good condition. As for my son, I dun think he knows the significance of the occasion but he smiled happily when he tried on his baju the other day. He wouldn't take it off (I had 2 pry it off him!). I'm glad he enjoys wearing his baju coz its long n thick n I'm sure he'll sweat plenty too. I'm trying 2 instill in my son the little traditions that we practise as a family. Thou I'm not the all-out person that most are, I do revel in the little things that marks the occasion. Like wearing the baju kurung, making or buying kuehs, washing the curtains n even mundane things like dusting dusty things. When ours bajus r washed n ironed, all hung up for the big day, its when I feel a sense of nostalgia coz now in our 11th year of marriage, we have an extra outfit 2 iron - Ryan's.

Hari Raya will neve be the same again. Thou Ryan was around last year he was much too young n afraid of strangers 2 really enjoy the new year. I hope this year will be different. I strive 2 be a better photographer this time round as I want 2 get good pictures for the blog ... n of course for memory. Its a wonderful feeling 2 be able 2 go out as a family n now that we have a son, its wildly different ... in a good way. It used 2 me a breeze 4 the 2 of us but wif a toddler in tow its a different ball game altogether. Thou I can't help but feel a bit sad ... for if Megan was here, she would be bout 6 mths old n life would be even more different. I feel a bit sad that she can't be here wif us but I know that she's in a better place. Mummy love n miss you ....

OK b4 I get all mushy again (I dun know why I'm like that these days?) I better go n do some of the housechores that await me. Catch up another time!!!

My angel baby ... reminding me what Hari Raya is all about - Family, traditions, get-togethers, delicious food n most of all LOVE!!! Happy cleaning every one, see u on Hari Raya!!!

My Hubby, My Son ...

Got lots of new pics n vids 2 post, just gotta find the time 2 do it. I realise that I've been rather diligent in taking photographs n videos of my family these days. I guess having a blog "inspired" me 2 record my family life 4 all 2 ponder.

Sometimes its just in the little things that we do - like bringing Ryan 2 enjoy water fountains (or any water feature for that matter). Haha! I guess I just wanted 2 record our simple lives for I know it will pass by soon enough. I just wished I had started sooner 4 it would have been a worthwhile adventure. I know one day when I look back, my son will be a grown young man ready 2 tackle the world n I would be glad that I took up blogging 2 record my son's n my family's journey into the future (or is that the past?).

When Ryan's all grown up n sees this blog, he will be equally embarrassed wif half the things he did as a child but I hope he will be equally touched that Mummy has tracked all his little smiles n it was all part of HIS-story. I love you Ryan! Mummy doesn't say it enough but I do. I love you too Daddy (my hubby Steven). He's been my pillar of strength all these years.

I know I have been blessed by God, wif a wonderful husband. Though we have our ups n downs sometimes, he's been there 4 me when I most needed him. He's been ultra patient when I'm being stubborn, he's been forgiving when I wasn't being Ms-Nice, he's been firm when I was being indecisive, .. he's been my guiding light when life has been so dark n miserable. He's was there 4 me when we lost our baby - through my darkest, depressed days when I couldn't n wouldn't accept the reality that I will never get 2 hold Megan in my arms ever, he let me cry buckets n held my hands ... telling me that everything will be alright. He's been my ardent supporter n listener. He's been my loyal companion n faithful critic (when I needed 2 be chastised). He's been my best friend, all these years.

Its in the little things that he does 4 me n Ryan. Like bathing Ryan when I have stuff 2 do, amusing his son when I try 2 blog online, changing his diapers when its needed, being the clown just 2 put a smile on Ryan's face or even buying a card 4 me 2 say thank you 4 taking care of him n his son. Am I a lucky gal or what!

Steven does almost anything without question n when he sees something that needs work or attention he does it automatically, then tells me bout it. I guess that's the mark of a good man huh. My hubby does things in his own quiet way n doesn't need fanfare nor acknowledgement but he definitely deserves them. He buys my favourite snacks 2 surprise me (especially when I was expecting Ryan), he cleaned our home from top 2 bottom when I came back from hospital from asthma, he writes me cards 2 cheer me up (or 2 tell me he loves me), he holds my hands eventhough we've been together 4 more than 15 years. He's the sweetest most considerate man I know n I thank my lucky stars I met him that fateful day. Now that we have a son, I know how I want my son 2 grow up into.

Everyday I see more n more of him in Ryan n I know no matter what I do, Ryan will turn out 2 be a good man. Maybe its presumtious of me 2 say dis at this time when Ryan is just a toddler but I can see Steven in him. His mannerism, his hyperness, his fingers n toes, his teeth, his eating habits ... but most of all I can see his love 4 me in our son's eyes. If Ryan becomes the man that his father is ... then I know that I did a good job in raising him - a man that loves his wife n family, a man that respects women, a man that sees no shame in saying "i love yous" in cute cards, a man that is loyal, faithful n devoted 2 his family. Like his father, I hope Ryan will be a honest n hardworking man who's not too workaholic (like his dad) n I hope he gets Steven's sense of direction n deft hands in doing stuff. I hope he gets his daddy's "quick-2-pick-up-things" n I hope he'll treat his future wife wif love n respect (just like his father).

Why am I writing all dis down? Because I want 2 remind myself how lucky n blessed I am. I have been rather tough on him lately - snapping n bitching around. We've been having a rough patch 4 the longest time n I haven't been a very nice person 2 be around. I am tough on him n even tougher on myself. I know I need 2 pitch in more n be more patient n more gracious. I know I need 2 bite my tongue when its called for n I know I need 2 be a better wife n mum.

I am eternally grateful 4 his love, care n devotion 2 me and now, 2 our son. Though I don't announce 2 the world, I know I drew a wild card when I married this man. Though I have neither beauty nor riches, I have been blessed wif a beautiful family n a life rich in love ... n for that I will be eternally grateful 2 God ... for giving me a chance 2 love these 2 wonderful men in my life, who love me for all my imperfectness, my ugliness n obsessive-eccentricities.

I love you darling!!!

(OK OK enough mush 4 now.)

Busy Busy Sunday

Wow, today was a jam-packed (hence tiring) Sunday. Early in the morning we decided 2 bring our lovely son 2 'The Airforce Museum'. Recently Ryan has been extremely obsesssseeeed wif the helicopters that flies above our block of flats (we stay near an airbase). Everytime 1 passes thru (he hears them a mile away), he'll say excitedly "copter!" (that's what he calls them). He gets rather upset n has shed many-a-tears when the choppers stop flying.

Though its rather amusing that he loves those helicopters, I'm tickled that he's sooooo obsessed by them. I guess its better than loving soft toys (which he does). I'm glad he's taken an interest (thou its overtly obsessive) in stuff that little boys like - choppers, cars, etc. Maybe he'll love dinosaurs too, we'll just have 2 wait n see.

In the afternoon n evening, we had several house viewings (sooo not fun!). I wish we can quickly sell our place coz we've found a suitable new apartment that we've fallen in love wif. Hmmm ... I'm praying very hard everything works out so that we can quickly move on into our new place. Meanwhile, the viewings continue .... arrghhhh!!!

Here are some photos taken at the musuem. The choppers are all grounded n sealed so as much as Ryan wanted 2 climb in the copters, he couldn't. Thou that put a dent in his masterplan, we could tell he really enjoyed the trip (thanx Daddy 4 promising 2 bring Ryan there, n 4 keeping his word). I will try 2 upload the vid too but I may have 2 do it next time as sometimes it takes eons 2 download them on the server, n then they hang (dunno why). Well, hope everyone had a great weekend too. Take care!!!

Barney, The Dinosaur

I've decided 2 put up a vid of Ryan n his fav ride coz he just looveeessss Barney n he loves the Barney rides even more. The only other thing he loves more is his smelly Barney bolster (it really does emit a "lovely" sour smell - I've tried washing it several times, n the smell still sticks) that he hugs lovingly at night. His best buddy "sleeps" wif him every night, even when he was hospitalised a couple of months ago. I hope 1 day he can go 2 sleep without his trusty Barney but until that day comes, we all just have 2 suffer in silence ...